Gag Me

I witnessed the most disgusting display the other day.

Let me tell you about it.

My boss took our whole team out for a lunch to boost morale and introduce some new staff (me, included) to some of the older staff. My boss is a director, so I guess to the organization he’s pretty important. He also invited his boss, the VP. I sat right next to both of them.

On the other side of the VP sat a coworker of mine I’ll call The Creep.** Before anyone had arrived, he argued with my boss about ordering a beer, since we were at a brewery. At 11:30 in the morning. For work. Of course, my boss said no.

Then everyone (about 22 people) placed their orders, and we waited. The servers then started to bring out some appetizers, which we all thought was a mistake since none of us ordered them. Turns out The Creep did. Despite our organization faltering financially and pretty much struggling. Granted, I know that $50 in appetizers during a lunch for 20+ people won’t make our company go under. But it’s the principle of it. This is disgusting display #1. But it gets better.

Since he ordered the appetizers, they’re all coming to him. The soup he kept, which I understand because that’s not an appetizer. But the calamari, he took a huge handful and placed it directly on his plate. Literally half. And he kept the entirety of the sauce that came with it on his plate before sending down the basket for others to share.

The nachos he kept on his end of the table to share with a few people. Fine. The tower of onion rings, he enjoyed as well but then passed along for sharing, too.

We ended up waiting a while for our entrees. Every few minutes, I’d look over at him and he was still shoveling it in. In fact, toward the end of the nachos, he actually took his PERSONAL fork and proceeded to eat directly from the nachos plate. That other people were sharing. Or had been sharing, at least. Disgusting display #2.

But here’s the big whammy. Once the entrees finally come, he plays with his food for a bit before asking for…. a to-go box! He packaged up his ENTIRE lunch to take home. So not only was he looking for one free meal, he was looking for two. I seriously could not believe it. Disgusting display #3.

All of this while sitting directly next to the VP and across from the Director. And he’s an actual adult – like mid-40s with a family.

If I had been sitting next to him, I would have let. him. know.

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In possibly more disgusting news, last night I was removing my bra and sliced one of my ragged-ass nails* across my other finger. When I inspected both fingers, I found the skin of the one finger UNDER the nail of the other. That’s foul. Foul, I tell you. Then said finger promptly started bleeding, so I put some Neosporin on it and a bandaid, and the blood came through the bandaid too. So gross.


*Manicures (self-given, but maniures none the less) and home renovation do not go together. Ohhhhh how I wait for the day that I can get a pedicure without worrying about paint smears ruining the job.
**I’ve actually called him this since Day 1, about six weeks ago, when we both started. It fits him perfectly. He’s talked to me about his au-pair***’s “well-developed” body and how he was shopping around for $1.4 million homes to buy – in cash.
***Yes, he has an au-pair. And a stay-at-home wife. Ridiculous.